A Court of Light and Shadows
by Dananndon
Summary: Takes place after A Court of Mist and Fury. Feyre is back at the Spring Court with Tamlin. The plan is to have her spy for the Night Court, but what will happen if the bond connection between Feyre and Rhysand is not working properly and Spring Court now has a daemati of its own? And whose side is Lucien now on? This is mainly a Feysand story with some Moriel, Nessian, and Elucien.
1. Chapter 1

I walked through the manor. The place was as beautiful as ever, but the true horror of the manor could be seen on the servants and guards faces as I strolled past them. That is when I started to notice the scratches and destruction on the walls and furniture. What had Tamlin done here when I was gone? Does he scare his people as much they should be terrified of me? Tamlin was off to find Ianthe, but he made sure that I was walking to my room accompanied by Lucien and four other guards.

We all stopped at my door. "I think I can take it from here boys, thank you for walking me." A dismissal followed by a small, dainty smile. Broken. I have to act broken, but in control so that I am able to be a part of things here. Let's hope my acting skills are up to par. I need to be alone to figure out what to do next. What to do about Azriel and Cassian, I need to get them my blood. Also, I need to apologize to Rhysand for putting him through that pain. Rhysand. If Tamlin went crazy when we were apart what will Rhysand do? He once told he that too much love can be a poison. Will our love be poisonous to him? Or does he know how to handle the love before him properly? So much to think about. I entered the room and went to the close the door behind me.

"We need to talk." Lucien said and stalked into my room and then slammed to door. "You are a terrible actress," Damn and I was really hoping the opposite. "Tamlin is too in love to not notice or want to see anything different from that little performance you put on." His voice was a killing calm. The walls were thick enough that we didn't have to worry about being overheard, unless we start shouting, which I'm not so sure won't happen.

I backed away trying to keep up with the innocent façade, "Lucien, I haven't been acting."

"Like hell you haven't. How is it that when I saw you in the woods you pretended to be full of hatred, but at Hybern you are able to care again? Explain that." He was losing his calmness.

"I was freed" I replied tentatively.

"Even before you were freed. You felt for Tamlin; you apologized to him. Why would you do that if you were under Rhysand's control that entire time." I tried to hold back the sneer that came to my lips as Lucien said my mates name with such disgust. "Also, you were crying out and begging for your sisters, my mate, when you were still under his supposive spell. How do you explain that?"

I didn't have a response. I fumbled for one. I couldn't believe how much Lucien saw. "I wasn't completely under _his_ control; I was still me with his new parts of me layered on top. That's how I eventually broke free. Because it was still me underneath." That last part came to me right on the spot.

Lucien walked over and sat on the edge of my bed. Normally if it was Cassian or Mor that did that I would give them a crude comment like, sure, help yourself to my bed, or yes of course you can sit there. I wouldn't mean it, not the way I would mean it in this situation. But, none of those words left my mouth because I am no longer sarcastic, fun Feyre, but rather, scared, broken Feyre. I leaned against my armour.

Lucien seemed defeated as he said, "I don't want to fight you. I just want my mate back, maybe even as much as you do. I will do anything to be with your sister again. I will not let this turn into the same instance as my other love. I just want to know she is okay, especially after what Jurian implied." His face grew somber after speaking those last few words.

Shit. I have to tell him. Tell him what though? She is fine and living in this beautiful city that I spent my entire time away in. And yes I do still love my mate that you want to kill. Well, he probably already knows about Velaris because of the mortal queens. But what if he betrays me like they did. Although, he did try to help me before I left. But, he did end up siding with Tamlin and didn't stick up for me. Would it be different this time because me, his friend, and my sister, his mate, are on the line? There are just too many possibilities to consider here. If only I could ask Rhysand what he thinks. No, I don't have to ask him because he would say trust yourself. He sent me into the weaver's cabin to find the ring myself, he thinks I can make the proper decisions for us all.

I lifted my eyes to meet his. His eyes were focused on me. He has been watching this war going on in my head.

"Lucien-"

Knocks came quietly on my bedroom door. Lucien eyed me again and then walked to the door. I knew who would be standing there even before the door opened.

"Feyre, I needed to ask- Lucien what are you doing in here?" Tamlin's voice altered at the end.

"I was making sure that Feyre here was alright. Did you find Ianthe?"

Tamlin was now staring at me, as if seeing himself that I was alright. A sneer was caught on my lips because I'd be a hell of a lot better if he went away again. Still, a small smile plagued my face.

"Um no she's gone." He turned to Lucien now, "although, apparently she fled the High priestesses too. Then sent a girl named Pilaria to apologize and take her place."

"Are you just going to let her stay here then? Even after Ianthe?" I asked feeling I already knew the answer.

"Well why wouldn't I? She's said that Ianthe was acting against the priestesses wishes."

"And you believe that?" Lucien asked with disbelief.

Tamlin wasn't in the mood for this conversation, "well of course I do. If I believed that she had anything to do with Ianthe then she would have been out of here in a second." He was done with the conversation completely now. "Lucien I can take it from here."

Lucien left mouthing, I'll be back. Great I have to deal with that again later. I looked at my current problem now. He was staring right back. Sorrow and was that lust that filled his eyes. His look made me long for Rhysand even more.

"I know it's late. I figured that you would want me here tonight-"

"Tamlin I don't think i'm ready to _make love_ to you yet." I tried not to gag went I said make love. The thought of it was driving me crazy.

"And I wasn't thinking that you were," his facial expression said otherwise though. "I just figured that I could hold you when you slept."

"I am not sure that would be best." I didn't want him touching me.

"It would make me feel a hell of a lot better when I sleep if I know exactly where you are though." Of course because I am his possession something of his that he wants to keep tabs on.

I hated myself as I responded, "that would be fine then, I guess." I need to keep the idea that I still love him alive, or alive enough that he won't suspect a thing. I went and changed in my bathroom into my sleeping clothes, or should I say lack of clothes. The only things available for me to sleep in is clothing that Tamlin would like to see on me. When I got out of the bathroom I ran into the bed wanting Tamlin to see as little of me as possible. He cupped me into his belly and slung his arms around me. I knew that I would not be getting any sleep, just from his smell alone.

I tried so desperately to contact Rhysand through our bond. I even left my shields open for him. I could feel Rhysand there his presences, but I couldn't get a clear message through to him. I suppose that when our bargain bond was snapped our communication was damaged. Although it could be our distance, or all the wards that are put up against Rhys. It could be all of these things factored together. As Tamlin slept soundly, I drifted into a fitful sleep.

 _I am in a cage. More like shackles. Iron is clamped around my waist and long bars are intertwined with my legs. A block pushes down on my head just enough so I cannot move it. I lift my eyes and see the throne room from under the mountain. I am hanging from the wall where Clare was. I am unharmed though. I look down at the throne and see Tamlin standing next to Amarantha. His face holds no expression as it did the entire time I was completing challenges to win his freedom. In the spot where I was first forced to kneel was Rhysand._

 _Amarantha announced, "Let's give our guest our welcome." That's when the attor and the others pounced. They were on him in seconds and his blood sprayed everywhere. I was screaming, but no sound came out of my mouth. I was begging and pleading to the cauldron to stop this. That is when the king of Hybern and Jurian appeared with the cauldron._

 _The broken body of what was once Rhys was placed into the cauldron. I was spazzing now. Not again. Not again. He thrashed under the water. The pain that he was feeling felt like a physical blow to me. It tipped. Three bodies fell out instead of one. Nesta, Elain and Rhysand laid wet on the floor. All breathing. A breath I didn't know I was holding escaped my lips._

 _Amarantha smiled broadly at me. "For your final task you must kill each one of them. This should be fun for you." My stomach lurched. I puked onto the floor past my bonds._

" _No I won't do it." My voice was shaking and weak. I can't kill them. Never. My bonds released. I fell to floor with a crunch. The iron had unbound itself everywhere on me except for the around my waste. It now was attached to a metal chain and was a leash attached to the wall._

" _If you don't do it, the entire human population will be eliminated. Not a single human will be left free, but instead under heavy bonds of slavery or they will suffer brutal death. Your precious city Velaris will be wiped from the map. The land will be a barren wasteland. Your friends in summer will be engrossed in water and will be washed away. All of this will happen if you do not kill these three right now." Amarantha smile didn't falter for a second._

" _I don't care let the world go to hell; I will not hurt them." My voice was stern this time._

" _You can't let the humans die." Elain said sadly. "I will give my life for them."_

" _You better kill me first because I will kill whoever touches a hair on Elain's head." Nesta sneered out. It was obvious that she was just as willing to die, but she did not want to have to watch her beloved younger her sister die._

 _The next voice broke my heart even further, "You must do it for our family and Velaris."_

 _I couldn't do it. Still an ash dagger was in my hand and Nesta just nodded as the knife came down. Without hesitation I was pulled in front of Elain she was smiling as tears ran down her face. Some force other than myself pushed the dagger into her chest. My heart breaking. The chain now placed me in front of Rhysand. My mind could not even keep up with what had just happened. Sobs were escaping from my body. I looked Rhysand in the eyes and said, "I can't do it."_

" _Yes you can, you must." The third knife started to follow the direction of the rest. I summoned all the willpower I could and turned the knife to my own chest pushing down. I hit the floor before Rhys could catch me._

I awoke. Tamlin was gone. I ran to the bathroom and threw up everything that was in my stomach. I suppose this means my nightmares are back. Kneeling before the toilet I thought of Rhysand kneeling before me. Rhysand. I tried calling for him, to have some comfort. That is when I realized my shields were down. Shit. They shot up rock hard as ever. Now I am hoping that he couldn't see in. I was praying he didn't see that dream.

Rhysand

I opened my eyes and fell the floor of my room. She would choose me over the entire world and _herself_. She would die for _me_. I can't stop shaking on the floor. Darkness was engulfing me. She left me mental shields wide open for me. Her mental shields are still wide open. I heard her pleas for me and I tried telling, screaming to her that I was there for her. Then they shot back up.

Mor came running into my room, "What?! What is it?!" Mor was frantic. I was shaking the house. This is why I never slept in the same place as my court after the under the mountain.

"Sorry, I just had a nightmare." I somewhat started to relax. "Well it was Feyre's nightmare. She left her mind completely open for me."

"Well if it was a nightmare why didn't you change it for her?" Mor asked making it sound ever so easy.

"I would have, but I can't talk to her." My face held a grim expression.

"What do you mean you can't talk to her?"


	2. Chapter 2

Hello! I am so sorry I didn't follow up right away the common app takes up a lot of time. Also, I didn't know I would get that much of a positive reaction. Thank you that Favorited, Followed, and or Commented. It really does mean the world.

I hope you enjoy this chapter. It is not as, in my mind at least, exciting, but it is leading up to chapter 3. Thank you again!

Feyre

For the rest of the night, sleep did not come. Although when the light of the sun touched my window, I had a plan.

A young girl that I have seen around the court before knocked on my door around eight. This shocked me because Tamlin usually would allow me to do my own thing and join him as I wished. I didn't want to worry the girl, so I let her in. She is about a half a foot shorter than me and has doe brown scared eyes. Her hair was a similar color to her eyes. She couldn't have been more than 13 if she was a human. I not sure how old that would make her since she is high fea.

"Hello, I'm Feyre." I paused waiting for her response, but she just nodded and walked to my armor. She opened the doors to it and looked inside. The pulled out a light yellow dress with a blue sash. Aw shit, I forgot I had to wear uncomfortable dresses here. Maybe coming here was not a great option. Wow, I need to pull myself together I can handle pretty plumbed dresses. I am the High Lady of the Night Court, I have the power of all the courts, and I can take on a yellow dress.

I entered my bathroom with the dress the young fea picked out. I changed alone waving off her offer to help. When I re-emerged into my bedroom, the girl was in front of my mirror brush in hand. I suppose I will be getting the full treatment today. As I sat, I decided that I would make an attempt at conversation.

"What's your name?"

"Naveah." her tentative voice replied.

"What a lovely name! Naveah, could you tell me where Alis is please?" I sudden need for my old friend hit me.

"I do not know lady-"

"Please call me Feyre." I interrupted her.

"Oh, um, I do not know Feyre." She looked scared as she said this. I am not sure if she was afraid to call me by my first name or if it was something else. For Naveah sake I decided not to push the issue, but instead, sit in silence as she finished my hair.

I looked in my mirror. Wow, Rhysand would hate this dress. I would want to wear it in front of him so that he could rip it off of me. Even though it hasn't even been twenty-four hours without him, I missed him dearly.

 _Rhysand?... Are you there?_

There was no response. I looked over to the girl, "You can go, tell your High Lord that I will be down in a moment." She nodded and left.

 _Rhysand I don't know if you are there or not, but I am going to send Lucien to you. Please don't kill him. I added this as a side note. I will give him my blood to heal Cassian and Azriel… I love you._

This was the plan I had thought of in the sleepless hours of the morning. I suppose there is nothing else to do but go to breakfast.

I entered the dining room. I could see the damage that the chamber endured. It was evident that someone tried to cover it up, but the damage could still be seen. Tamlin sat at the head of the table with Lucien on his right. I took my seat at his left.

"Feyre, you look wonderful. Doesn't it feel better not to have to wear fighting gear anymore and just being here?" Tamlin asked with a wide smile on his face. I thought of what my actual answer would be and what Rhysand's answer would be, but I decided it was a bit too early to blow my cover.

"It is just wonderful." I echoed his words. Lucien looked at me, and I could not tell what expression his eyes held.

"Feyre, I know you just got back, and I would love to spend every moment with you, but I must go to our outer borders this morning and reinforce the wards. I know that Hybern will be coming to collect what was promised him, but I would like to be able to know when he is coming. Also, I want to do this to make sure that any other court can not get in." Tamlin stated. Is the cycle of him never being home starting again? If so I wouldn't mind, however, it would not be beneficial to the actual reason I am here. To spy.

"Darling," calling Tamlin the pet name that Rhysand calls me felt like having knives stabbed into my gut, but I must play the part. "Must you go so soon?"

"I have to, I am sorry."

"Then take me with you. We agreed that I would be included from now on."

He looked conflicted. "You will be." He hesitated. "Let me go alone only today when you readjust."

"Fine just this once." Having him out of the house today could be good. I can talk to Lucien without being interrupted now.

Tamlin smiled, "I will leave now then, so I can hurry back." Tamlin and Lucien raised. Lucien can't leave.

"My love", gag, "Could Lucien stay if you cannot, I wish to reconnect with my friend."

"That will be fine." Tamlin left.

Lucien and I walked the garden. I knew that I need to get my blood to the Night Court and that Lucien is the only one that can do it. I must take this risk.

"Lucien, you are right," I said breaking the silence.

"About?"

"I am still mates with Rhysand, and I still love him dearly. Also, I wanted him to take my sisters because I knew that he could keep them safe." Lucien looked relieved when I said this.

"And why are you choosing to trust me now?" He is too smart sometimes.

"I need you take this to the Night Court." I pulled out a shampoo bottle with my blood inside it. Lucien looked flabbergasted. "As soon as possible. Like right now would be best."

"I can't just leave he'll know. And why would I do this?"

"Because you're my friend, and because your mate is there." That last part seemed to compel him a bit. "Tamlin won't even know you're gone; he'll be away all day."

"What happens when I get there, and they try to kill me?" Lucien asked. It was a decent question.

"I told him that you were coming already." Not exactly a lie. I did tell Rhysand. I just didn't receive an answer in return.

"Fine."

"Okay go quickly! Let me know how they are!" My excitement of helping them was overwhelming.

"Where do I go? I know they - you have a secret city. Where is it?"

"Just go to the border. Trust me they will know that you are there as soon as you set foot in the Night Court."

"They didn't know last time." My mind flipped back to when Lucien tried to take me back here forcibly. Separate me from Rhysand. I let out a groan.

"They'll be waiting for you, this time."

Rhysand

 _Rhysand?... Are you there?_

Feyre. Her mind's voice sounded like music to my ears. I am right here Darling.

 _Rhysand I don't know if you are there or not._

Feyre I am right here! Why can't she hear me? Maybe this is Tamlin not letting any other court, especially Night Court through the borders. I guess he did not send up the same precautions for the inside of the court.

 _But I am going to send Lucien to you. Please don't kill him. I will give him my blood to heal Cassian and Azriel… I love you._

I love you too. But her mind was already closed. This is great. At this point, I think it is the only thing that could save Cassian. Az isn't too bad. Mor is all over him. If only Nesta would show as much fussing. She more growls then fusses, at least it's a start.

Feyre, once again she is saving us. She is the best thing that has happened to this court. If it had me or her that had to be behind enemy lines, it should have been me. She is needed here more than I am. Okay, maybe she doesn't know much about the military, but that is why the rest of the court is here. To help me- us rule. She hasn't even gotten the chance to her land as the High Lady of the Night Court. I can't wait to walk her around Velaris. The people will be so welcoming to her. Although the first night she is back she will not be able to see our city. She will only be seeing our bedroom, maybe the bathroom, or the kitchen if I want a feast.

Missing her hit like a punch in the gut. No more like a thousand stab wound to the chest. Hearing her once in awhile is nice. Oh, my God, It has only been a day. I don't know how I can deal with this for days? Weeks? Months? There is no way in hell she is staying there longer than a year. I will forcibly remove her. But, will I? Is that something Tamlin would do? Damn it; I would get so angry at Feyre for comparing me to that beast, and now I am doing it too.

I kind of understand where Tamlin was coming from, when he went crazy to get her. I would, will never do what he did. But, for Feyre? Maybe I would. No, no that is not what she would choose. I have to let her play her hands. I will follow her suit.

After receiving word that a cue would be coming, I thought it would be best to tell Cassian. I found Nesta in a chair reading. At this moment the harshness from her face was not there. I could see Feyre in Nesta. I pictured Feyre our home above the mountain reading the book she froze over. I smiled at the memory of her throwing it at my head. Or maybe that was her shoe? I don't remember the exact details that encounter was months ago.

"How is he doing?" I asked Nesta.

The softness left her face and was replaced by her normal smugness. "You can ask him yourself." She stood and left the room.

"Charmer," Cassian said laying in bed. He was on his stomach his wings were suspended by strings hauling from the ceiling. The healers said that this would be the best way for them to heal.

"Yes, she is," I replied with an easy grin. "Feyre found a way to get her blood here. Hopefully, that will heal you. I think it will be here today."

He made a chuckling noise.

"What?"

"She does everything for us. I thought that when she wrote the note to Tamlin that was one of the hardest things she had to do. I was wrong she now has to live with the bastard so our hides could be saved and she is still taking care of us."

Happiness flickered through me. Good, I am glad I am not the only one to care deeply about her. It hasn't been that long since our mating bond clicked into place and I thought I would be crazier hearing that Cassian cares for her too. It didn't I wasn't it was comforting because I knew he would never land a hand on her. My gut turned thinking about Tamlin's hands - not going to go there right now.

"We don't deserve her."

"No, we don't."

I could feel Feyre at that moment. _Rhys? Cauldron I hope you are there. Lucien is coming now._

Armen and I met Lucien at the night courts border. I brought her to scare him even more than he probably already was.

I could smell Feyre. On him. I growled. Lucien put his hands up, showing a sign of peace. Armen felt it too. She was also aware of my mating bond issues. She put a hand on my arm to keep me from tearing him apart.

"I am only here on Feyre's request." He spurted out. I didn't like her name on his lips. Armen turned to me.

"Put your cock back in your pants so we continue." She said this quiet enough that Lucien could not hear. Damn. She is right. I am the High Lord of the Night Court, and I should act like it.

"I know. Can I have what you brought." I said gaining control over my fae senses.

"Here."


	3. Chapter 3

**Feyre**

Six weeks past with a new routine. Nevaeh would come in everyone morning to do my hair and help me get dressed. It seemed that every week Nevaeh could pull the strings on the back of dress tighter and tighter. I would then go down to breakfast with Tamlin and Pilaria, but no Lucien. After he left to go to the Night Court with my blood Tamlin sensed him leaving. When he was gone Tamlin closed the borders completely, not letting him back in. I have no idea if his mission worked or not.

Every night before going to bed I tell Rhysand about my day and I always finished with I love you. That is usually when Tamlin would then come into my room. I had give him what he wanted. Cauldron knew I didn't want to, but this is what is expected of me. It tore me up inside, but I knew that Rhysand would understand after his years under the mountain.

I usually just laid there and left Tamlin to enjoy himself. Some nights though he wanted more out of me, and I gave. Tamlin would leave right after though. Sometimes I would throw up right then, other nights I would wake up from my nightmares and throw up.

Hybern and Jurian came about once a week. Tamlin talked strategy with Hybern as Jurian trained me. He wasn't as good of a trainer as Cassian, but then again, I wasn't trying like I did with Cassian. I did enough to keep myself in shape. They weren't rude or cruel to me. Other than the casual jokes, Jurian and I were actually getting along. Their ideas started to make sense to me, slightly.

After about the fourth week my nightly reports to Rhysand started to slow. He didn't need a nightly update. Once in a blue moon would work. Cauldron knew if he could hear me anyway.

Pilaria and I became friendly. Nothing like Ianthe and me. I would not fall into that trap again. Never. Still, I was pleasant enough to Pilaria. I was not going to let a high priestess screw me over again. But then, I started to think that I could really trust Pilaria. Why should I have to hide everything from her?

When Tamlin and Hybern were discussing plans in front of all of us, me, Pilaria, and Jurian, I even offered up some ideas knowing certain weak points of the Night Court. And then I was shocked I did so, but then I didn't feel so guilty.

 **Rhysand**

Over the first four weeks of Feyre being gone my frustration was what I thought of an all time high. Feyre would nightly report strategies and numbers of the Hybern forces. She would tell me about her day. She would say I love you to me. I would respond to everything said, but it didn't go through to her.

Every night I knew she was blocking me out when Tamlin was there with her. She never wanted me to see that. However, at night her nightmares would prevent her from having her shields up. Her terrors of rotating from me, her sisters, Lucien, Cassian, Mor, Armen, and Az, dying or being tortured played through hers and then in my head every night. Mor begged me to shut them out, but how could I. I couldn't let Feyre go through this alone. If she came back, no when she came back, she needs to know I was there with her the whole time.

But, around week four I could sense a cloud around her head. Something or someone was interfering with Feyre. Slowly everything was being cut off from me. On the sixth week, I couldn't take it anymore. I need to get her back here. I called a meeting.

Feyre's blood had healed both Az and Cas. Cassian wasn't fully himself yet, but he was getting there.

Azriel, Cassian, Amren, Mor, Elaine, Nesta, Lucien, and I sat around the dinner table in the house of wind.

"It is time we get Feyre out." The words leave my mouth, and everyone is silent.

"About time," Amren says, and she lets out a deep breath and leans back against her chair.

"Did she finally ask for us to help her escape?" Mor seemed relieved by this.

"Well not exactly." Everyone looked rather puzzled.

"Is she okay?" Elaine asked with a bit of fear in her voice. Lucien automatically grabbed her hand at his.

Over the past six weeks that two have got along wonderfully. I am not sure if they have completely accepted their mating bond, but each day the two get closer and closer. Nesta and Cassian were doing the same for a while when Cas was healing. However, ever since Cassian has been going out and doing his duties as the commander of the night court armies. I told him he could more time off, but he just wanted to get back to his old duties.

"She is fine, but just a little off." this was the only response I could think of.

"Off in what way?" Said Nesta with no readable emotion on her face.

"It is hard to explain—"

"Well try," Nesta said sharply before I could even start explaining.

"For the first four weeks of being there, she was falling back into the way she was after under the mountain; Well she was stronger mentally. She had so much fight in her. She had silent victories all the time." I couldn't help thinking of when she told me that she told Tamlin that the orb Mor's father owns was in the Weaver's home. The repercussions that followed will always make me smile.I continued speaking, "But in spite of her being stronger than anyone I know, her body wasn't doing the best. She would have her nightmares again. They drained her. She was getting sick most nights." I was thinking now of the night when Feyre told me of her day when she was looking in the mirror at herself before she was about to take a bath. Her collarbone jutted out. Her higher ribs could be seen above her breasts. Her cheeks sunk in. Her hair even seemed duller. "But, two weeks ago, her mind started to break. A small cloud that I didn't even know was present started to become more pronounced. I think the cloud, or whatever it is starting forming during her nightmares. She doesn't have control of her shields then. I can slip into more easily as the weeks have been going on."

"What are you exactly trying to say?" Armen asked she was sitting up more straight. I could tell that she was thinking the same thing as me.

"I can't be sure but, it feels like their is a daemati in the Spring Court."


End file.
